In a front-page story last week, my colleague Katherine Shaver wrote about the increasing number of people who practice "mindful commuting," reducing the stress of their rush-hour commutes with meditation practices.
Great idea! Here are my meditation tips. You, too, can become a Beltway Buddha or Yellow Line yogi.
1. Relax. Seriously. Life’s too short to be stressed during your commute. By practicing meditation and mindfulness, you can have a more pleasurable journey to and from work, whether you are taking public transportation, driving, riding a bike or walking.
2. Focus on your breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Nice and smooth. Try to ignore the labored respiration of the person sitting next to you on the train or bus, the phlegmy rattle of his chest, his hacking, "productive" cough. Even if he does have Ebola — and, remember, he probably doesn't — it's extremely unlikely that you will catch it just because he keeps spraying you with the contents of his diseased lungs. In. Out.
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3. If you are standing, revel in the gentle sway of the Metro train. Imagine you are floating in a warm tropical lagoon. Breathe in. There is no body odor, halitosis or overenthusiastic application of noxious perfume, just the pleasant scent of bougainvillea and jasmine borne upon the breeze. Close your eyes. A white, sandy beach awaits. Even now, Alfredo, your manservant, is gathering coconuts and tiger shrimp for a late afternoon repast, after which native islanders will introduce you to certain practices that scandalized Victorian missionaries but that here, in this lush jungle paradise, seem natural and right. Try to hold onto this fantasy as the train breaks down and you are offloaded to the platform to await a replacement.
4. If you are driving, roll down your windows and become more aware of your surroundings. Feel the rain on your face, so cold and so wet. Resist the urge to roll up the windows. Notice the way the red brake lights stretching off into the infinite distance resemble a pointillist painting. Listen to the birdsong. See how even along this blasted expanse of cracked asphalt, nature flourishes. See the happy squirrel frolicking on the median and the rat furtively ducking into the sewer grate. Ignore the bloody lump near the curb that may be a raccoon, an opossum or half of a deer. The Circle of Life is a wheel. Think about it.
5. Feel your body. No, really, feel your body. Rub your hand across your brow, feeling the sweat that's formed there as you anxiously fret that you will arrive late to the meeting upon which your future employment depends. Clench your fists. Feel your fingernails digging into your palms. Bang your head against the steering wheel. Bang. Bang. Bang. Feel that? That's pain. Meditate on that for a while, buddy.
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6. If you are on your bike, lift your feet off the pedals and stick your legs straight out as if you are a 12-year-old kid. Whee! This is freedom. Watch out for the car door that has just been thrown open in your path.
7. If you are walking, concentrate on the feel of the pavement underneath your feet. The Earth is turning below you, spinning on its axis, orbiting the sun, which in turn is moving with our solar system through the Milky Way, itself a mere infinitesimal speck in the multitude of galaxies that make up this vast universe. Remember that if there is life on other planets, no one there cares that you wore the wrong shoes today. Heels? When it’s an eight-block walk from the Metro? What were you thinking?
8. Work from home.
Twitter: @johnkelly
For previous columns, visit washingtonpost.com/johnkelly.
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